Sunday, December 25, 2005

A Poignently Blessed Christmas

Though I knew Christmas was getting closer by the minute, I still had much to do, much to start. But getting started appeared to be the problem (for one reason, see previous post). I enjoyed shopping and doing for those in true need. And baking bread for my neighbors was fun. But things like Christmas cards and tree decorating just didn’t get accomplished. I did put up a nativity set, but that was the extent of my decorating for the holy day in my house.

The big thought this season has been to go home to my mom. Funny, I’ve only visited the house where she now lives but the peace I feel here called to me like coming home. Finally, last Friday, I had a real heart-to-heart with my Abba. I didn’t think I was feeling depressed but I was longing. I think I even surprised myself when I told Him I miss my Ian.

Ian used to help me decorate. He had an eye for it and made it fun. I remember coming in from work one December day in 1998 to find my 15 year old son hunched up on the kitchen counter by the phone, receiver in hand, with his eyes glued to the TV.

“What in the world are you doing?”

“I’m going to win the contest on that show.” And he did—a family pack to visit the Imax theatre to see The Nutcracker--his Christmas gift to us. I still smile thinking of him there.

But that was his last Christmas. And now I miss my son, just like I do every Christmas. Like I do every day.

But in verbalizing it to my Abba, He reminded me that He also missed His Son that first Christmas. How loving that God would share that intimacy. He truly understands.
He sent his son to a hurting world knowing that world would hurt him. And He did it for me. And you. And my Ian, who no longer hurts. I will see Ian again and I will celebrate Christmas with the angels one day where I can see and touch and hug the guest of honor, my Savior. My Jesus.

In the meantime, I have enjoyed Christmas here today with my family. To you, my husband, my daughters, my mom, my Norman, my 99-year-old grandmother, my aunt and uncle: I love you. To my sister, my brothers, nephews, nieces, in-laws, and friends: even though we're apart on this day, you are still in my heart. Each of you please know, next to salvation, you are the greatest blessings in my life.

And to you, dear reader, may the Christ of that first Christmas live and grow in your hearts, filling all of your new years with Abundant Blessings!

3 comments:

Jennifer Tiszai said...

Love you, too, Jenny. Thanks for letting my boy play with Ian's things. Get the feelings they're a lot a like?

Malia Spencer said...

You're making me cry! I guess payback for my last blog post? LOL

Merry Christmas Jenny. I hope you have fun at your mom and get enough writing done to send me tons of chapters to read.

Sabrina L. Fox said...

Jenny great post. It touched me. I look at my son and can't imagine not having him here. Thank you for sharing your Ian memories.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.

p.s. can you imagine Ian's Christmas?