Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Never Can Say Goodbye

It started Sunday morning in the shower. Only a week early but my tears didn’t want to stop when I turned off the faucet. Phil asked if I was practicing. I told him no, just thinking too much.

And I guess that’s what it is, still thinking too much about the last few days with my pastor, Steve Chiles. He has been senior pastor at North Hills Church for over eleven years now. A lot has happened in those eleven years and I’ve got that Clifton Davis song humming in my head over it.

Steve’s done his best to make this transition as smooth as possible but the truth is, it is still change.

And I hate change.

I loathe change.

Change is right up there with vomiting in my book. Upheaval, upchuck—they both have the same prefix. Kind of like living in the same area code of misery.

However, how does one argue with God and still move forward? So I surrender. Uncle. Let’s get this hard part done—that part where I quit fighting and do what He always knew I’d do when I came to my senses. I love my pastor. He has asked that I love the new pastor. I can do that, I can. I can do that because I love my Abba and this is what He asks of me. I can do this because my friend asks this and it will help him to focus on God’s leading if he doesn’t have to worry about how his church takes this new, gulp, change. I can do this.

But don’t ask me to say goodbye. That I cannot do.

Love ya, Steve. This video is for you.

Abundant blessings!


Heather said...

Very sweet tribute, Jenny.
I like the hat.
Okay, and not to bring down the sentiment or anything, but when I first read "vomiting in my book," I took it literally. Whey would anyone vomit in their book? They can't turn their head? Make it to the bathroom? But, yeah, that would be terrible cuz I love my books.
Sounds like a great guy and pastor.

Jennifer Tiszai said...

Awesome job, Jenny. Made me teary too.

Marlene said...

Thanks for the tribute of Steve Chilles from one who always looked forward to Steve's sermons coming in the mail. Never knew what he looked liked and now that I know, I have to say he looks entirely different from what I thought. Ah, and one thing more..... but he looks like Russell Crowe only when my eyes are completely shut.